For my first blog post and podcast, I wanted to give people the chance to get to know me. In the first episode of Digital Activism, I focused more on my school life and advocating, so I wanted to use this post as an opportunity to tell you more about me on a personal level, as well as a little more about my journey to accepting my disability.
As I mentioned in the first podcast episode, I was very shy growing up. I was very self-conscious about being in a wheelchair. This led to me being shy and not fully accepting my disability for much of my life. In fact, I didn’t accept my disability until 2020.
In 2020, I was having a difficult time with my mental health for multiple reasons. However, the last straw was the Covid-19 pandemic. I was in my second semester of freshman year of college and when I was just getting adjusted, everything was shut down. Being home for so long gave my body a chance to rest and I realized how much I was overworking it. I began to feel very weak and fatigued and I noticed that I couldn’t do the things I used to. This is when I became depressed about having a disability and that my body isn’t going to maintain its strength and abilities forever. Then, I turned to advocates on social media, particularly TikTok because it was the most popular during the pandemic. It was these advocates that helped me realize that I can love my self, disability, and life while still disliking aspects of my disability. Also, life with a disability isn’t linear. Sometimes, it is going to be hard and absolutely suck, and other times it will be some of the best times in my life.
Coming to accept my disability wasn’t immediate, it took months of breaking down previous ideas, learning new ideas, and talking to other disabled individuals and hearing their experiences.
I have a question for you, the reader! Was there a point in your life when you were shy or self-conscious about something? If so, what helped you get through it?